I have a slight but (arguably) irrational fear that my vehicle will be blown to smithereens in an explosion caused by the cigarette that the car in front of me just disposed of onto the street. I mean, it's a tiny, rolling stick of fire. It's designed to be flammable, albeit slowly, but the idea that a compacted piece of tobacco and paper is shooting off sparks as it bounces under my car doesn't sit well with me. It's just a little uncomfortable.

From what I understand, there's gasoline and other important stuff (that's the technical term) housed on the underside of an automobile, and while I'm no expert, I don't think you'd put a 4th of July sparkler under there just to see what would happen; I don't like the idea of a still-smoldering cigarette wreaking havoc on the undercarriage of my Ford. That's just not a part of the surgeon general's warning you'd see on a pack of Parliament's.

Perhaps I've seen one too many "blow up a car by flicking a lit cigarette into the gas trail" scenes in one too many Hollywood movies, but there's always a slightly tense moment as I am forced to drive - one might say haphazardly - directly over a tiny ball of fire. I'm unable to get out the way in time, and I'm afraid I'll feel silly if I stop traffic on the street while I brake to let the cigarette burn out of its own accord. I believe that's the sort of thing that would get you beat up. So instead I'm risking life and limb each time some ne'er-do-well in the car in front of me decides to dispose of their trash out their window. At that point, a cigarette ceases to become a "cancer stick" and becomes a "miniature flare".

Now, I can't support the claim that throwing your cigarette butt out the window while driving should be charged as "attempted murder", but I think a "potentially negligent manslaughter by way of possible automotive explosion" fine ought to be imposed at least. You can build it in with the "sin tax" already associated with cigarettes.

I need to go the grocery store, but now I've got myself all freaked out. Perhaps I should take up smoking to calm my nerves.