While waiting to get my hair cut the other day, I was reading Country Living (the best option they had, trust me), and was enjoying people-watching as well; it was a much more zesty enterprise than reading about how to get your garden ready for spring flowers.

I noticed that the employees of SuperCuts (cause I'm too cheap to go anywhere else) have a nasty little habit: immediately judging someone as soon as they walk through the front door by the "unkemptness" of their hair. There would be a short, rehearsed glance to make eye contact, then a longer - but more subtle! - gaze upon the head of hair they might have to be cutting next. It was as if, after meeting someone's eye-line, as is only polite, we're supposed to be convinced that it is natural to then turn away, ever so slowly, peripheral vision further determining the depth of person they're dealing with while the head seems to rotate on some random axis of its own accord: turning crazily up towards the ceiling, pretending to eye the product shelves, or looking out the window at passersby. But it doesn't get past me what's happening. You're being judged. By your hair. And by your hair at its worst, considering why you are there in the first place.

I instantly felt as if I were a spy, dedicating myself to slyly observing the goings-on of this SuperCuts from behind my magazine when all else were unaware. To the untrained eye, I was simply reading an article on apron-sowing or "How To Correctly Place Pies On A Windowsill" or whatever it is they do in the country, but in truth my eyes were focused just beyond the top of that page on the real action that was unfolding. I was seeing something I was not supposed to see. Had I been judged the same way when I walked in here? Undoubtedly.

Now, I can admit that it's only natural. It's your job to cut hair, and you want to know what you're up against. I can understand that. When I'm recording a new client, I listen to all of their music first to see what we can do. And if the subtle head-glances had been the extent of it, be that what it may; who am I to make a call on it? But it didn't stop there. No, in fact, what knowledge was gained in this sneaky employment was then exercised. In other words: depending on if the employee liked what they saw upon the newcomer's scalp, there was a moment's calculation to see if this customer would end up at their chair or not. It was quite an impressive task to factor in:

- how many employees were currently working
- which employee would finish the current round of haircuts first
- how many patrons of the SuperCuts are in line before the new arrival

... all to determine if this new hair of head was going to soon be under their supervision. And get ready for the shocker people: the answer to this complex calculation then determined their speed of work. About this I am not joking nor exaggerating. After a quick overview of whoever just walked through the door and a moment's mental reasoning, they might instantly become more talkative with their current customer, slowing down their work, becoming seemingly more interested in each cut; or putting the gas to it all, shaving heads where heads didn't want to be shaved, or blocking when they were specifically asked to fade. And that's just wrong. All in an effort to get the new arrival into their chair or pawn him off to a fellow employee.

All this I noticed and deduced from behind the April 2007 issue of Country Living.

I know what's going on SuperCuts, you can't put it past me, and I'm blowing the whistle on you.

Appendix A
"Packing A Summer Picnic For Family And Friends"
Step 1: Keep it easy. Picking a food theme — pastries, fruit, and iced tea or wine, cheese, and bread — can help simplify the menu.
Step 2: Be prepared. Choose ready-to-serve foods to reduce prep work. Sandwiches, whole fruit, and individual-sized desserts are ideal.
Step 3: Stock up on drinks. Thoroughly chill your beverages before pouring them into thermoses to ensure they stay cold and refreshing.
Step 4: Stay cool. If you're not planning to eat right away, pack mayonnaise-based dishes in a cooler to maintain proper temperatures.
Step 5: Add memorable touches. A small pot of buttercups makes a charming, low-maintenance centerpiece that complements a simple meal.
Ever ready: Keep a blanket and supplies in the trunk of your car and you'll be all set for an impromptu picnic whenever the mood strikes. In your kit, stash a few inexpensive plates and cups, along with Tote Le Monde's handy Kahala Placemats, which feature slots for your silverware.
(Courtesy of County Living)